Tradition! Tradition!

I love Fiddler on the Roof, it may be one of my top ten favorite musicals. But this blog really isn't about musicals but about traditions and my love for them. For instance my family always goes to 4:00 mass on Christmas Eve and then we return home for a huge Christmas Eve dinner. My mom and I for the last 15 years have been taking a summer vacation together, just us girls where we do all sorts of things that the men in our family would hate, and we laugh about it.

Memorial Day is also one of those days steeped in tradition for me. It's where every year for the last 35+ years my friend MJ and I meet at the end of the street we grew up on (where my parents, and her mom still live) to watch our hometown Memorial Day parade. In terms of parades this is a great one. Lots of fire trucks, girl scout and boy scout groups and the local high school bands. There are three actually the two public schools that are located in the the village and the all girls Catholic school that I attended. My school's band is clearly the best of the three. You may think I'm bragging, but it's true they are an outstanding band have recently performed in one of the Disney parades and in Washington during the inauguration for President Obama.

But I digress, this is not about which of the local high schools has the best band, but about friendship and tradition. MJ is my oldest and dearest friends she was the only other girl, my age on our street growing up. We were surrounded by boys and the two of us were in fact tomboys, we were viscous kick ball, 4 square, and kick the can players. Except when we weren't. We tried gymnastics together and together we failed miserably. We both continue to hang our heads in shame that neither one of us ever mastered a cartwheel. We tried synchronized swimming for a summer, we were better at this, but we decided at the end of the summer it wasn't for us. Neither one of us was real excited about the thought of putting jello in our hair for performances.


MJ would say she saved my life once. I tripped and fell in the middle of a 4 lane road as we were walking to the drug store to get our daily pixie sticks. Instead of waiting for me to try to get up MJ dragged me safely to the other side of the street. "You could have been killed by that El Camino" she stated as the rusty looking car/truck slowly drove by us. "Yeah, but wasn't that your brother Dan?" I asked. "I'm pretty sure he would have stopped before he hit me."

She was also with me the day I was taken home in shame in the back of a police car. Our plan that summer morning was to go to the local public swimming pool. My backyard pool was not sufficient that morning, we wanted to practice our diving off the high board. So we threw on our bathing suits and jumped on our bikes and headed for the local pool. The local pool is located at the bottom of a very steep hill on a very busy 6 lane road. We were not allowed to cross this road but fortunately for us at the bottom of the hill was a pedestrian bridge that our parent's deemed safe. "I dare you to pedal down the hill, instead of just coasting" MJ said to me. Never one to refuse a dare I agreed and took off. Big mistake. I flew down that hill and lost control of my bike flying over the handlebars and rolling the rest of the way. I was bloody from head to toe. A local police officer happened upon us and decided that I was in no condition to ride home and instead opened the back of his cruiser and so began my first and what I'm pretty sure will be my last ride in the back of a police cruiser.


So this Monday, MJ and I will sit on the corner of our street surrounded by other friends, neighbors and family we will reminisce about the year we sold balloons in the parade for 50 cents while this years hawkers are charging $5.00 for a can of silly string and $10.00 for crazy Dr. Seuss like hats with what appears to be a marijuana print on them. I will remind her of the summer I wanted to be blond and we used sun-in to achieve that goal. She'll remind me of when the two of us along with our brothers stretched Stretch Armstrong a little too far and his insides oozed out all over my parents bedroom and how Stretches sticky insides got all over her hair and how it needed to be cut because it couldn't be removed any other way.

We will laugh at the fact that one year when we decided to attend VBS together the pastor asked me to leave because I was talking to much. He told me I could come back the next day if I could be quieter. Neither one of remembers is we went back. My mom insists that we did. We'll shake our heads over the fact that the first boy either one of us ever kissed was the same boy. He's long gone of course but our friendship remains. At the end of the parade we will walk home together and insist that we need to get together more often and like most summers we may catch up a few times but if we don't we know where to find each other on Memorial Day.

The home office

I am fortunate enough to work from home once a week. Don't get me wrong, I truly enjoy my colleagues and the college students I work with but this mid week reprieve really does allow me to catch up on emails, planning and other projects. Oh yeah and I get to wear a t-shirt and yoga pants. Although today the forecast is high 80's so I'm wearing a tank top and shorts. For 8 months of the year my home office pretty much consists of the chair by the window in the corner of my living room. But when the weather cooperates I move my home office outdoors. I truly believe I am far more productive in the outdoor office, with the sun warming my skin and the sweet smell of flowers.

Random Thoughts

I'm having a garage sale tomorrow, I'm really not a garage sale kinda girl but my neighborhood association holds this event every year and I've lived here 10 years so I figured maybe it's time to get in on the fun. I haven't had any fun yet and for the last few days I found myself saying over and over "why am I doing this?" I still don't have the answer to that, although it did feel good to go through the house and start purging items. My house is small and I have always thought of myself as someone who really does not have a lot of extra stuff, but I have managed to fill three tables with junk, excuse me, treasures. My other problem with having a garage sale? Being tied to my garage between the hours of 8 -4 on a Saturday. I have lined up several friends to come visit me though out the day and I will bribe them to stay with promises of good strong coffee and dark chocolate brownies.

My plan after the garage sale was to use any money I made to buy flowers for my garden. I couldn't wait and spent this afternoon at my local nursery forking over $80.00 for annuals. I can't wait to plant them all and just sit on my deck and admire them. Have I mentioned how much I love spring?

Finally I have become obsessed in the last few weeks with a bake shop in the city. They only make cupcakes, but these are the most amazing cupcakes I have ever had. The bakery also does a good job marketing themselves and their flavors of the day. I "won" a contest with them today which entitled me to one free cupcake if I buy 5. I know what you're thinking, I didn't really WIN anything but there flavors today were just so enticing. In the end though I decided I really wanted flowers for the garden more than I wanted a cupcake. This was not the case last week when I just had to have a mounds cupcake. Dark chocolate with coconut filling and a dark chocolate frosting.

Sometimes I have to scratch my head and laugh

I'm one of those people who really, really enjoys her job. I love working with college students and alumni, assisting them as they begin their career journey. But sometimes I just have to shake my head and laugh. I manage a small career center, basically I am the only person in the office who does career counseling, provides cover letter and resume writing assistance, mock interview, job search strategies, etc. My philosophy of career development is that I want to empower others, to provide them with the tools they need to be successful but ultimately they are responsible for the final product. Over the years I have had some real strange conversations with students Here are just a few:

Student - I hear you write resumes.

Me - No, sorry you heard wrong, but I'd love to teach you how to write your own and I'd be happy to assist you with writing one.

Student - Well you don't understand I'm VERY busy.

Me - (nodding my head, trying to show my empathy skills) I'm sorry to hear that,I'm pretty busy myself. I need to provide services to all the students and alumni here at the college so you can see I really can't write your resume for you. But again, I'd be happy to teach you how to write one.

Student - Well I just don't have time, I'd be happy to pay you to write it for me.

Me - Gee that's very kind of you, but you see the college is already paying me to teach you how to write a resume, so it would really be a conflict of interest for me to take your money.

Student (Leans close and whispers) I promise I won't tell anyone.

This volleying went back and forth for a few minutes before the student finally asked me if I could recommend a resume writing service to her. I couldn't of course because I had never had to recommend a resume writing service. Every other student I met was very eager to learn how to do this, it is after all the first step in a job search. This student did come back a few weeks later after learning what a great deal I was, or perhaps the time commitment it would take to tell her story to someone who was willing to take a lot of her money to write her resume for her.


Interviewing Skills?
Student walks into my office and says she is really nervous about an upcoming internship interview and asks if I can assist her in any way.

Me - Sure, I'd be happy to do a mock interview with you, but before that let me give you a handout on preparing for an interview. I give her the handout and she looks excited.

Student - Wow this has sample questions that an employer might ask?

Me - Yes, along with questions that you may want to ask the employer.

There is a few moments of silence while she is looking over the handout.

Student - Where are the answers?


Today's conversation with a student takes the cake though and I'm still shaking my head in disbelief.

Student - Did your assistant tell you why I made an appointment to see you?

Me - Well she make a note on the calendar that you had some questions about your job search.

Student - Yeah, I have not received any job interviews and I'm trying to figure out why.

Me - Okay well, can you tell me what sort of positions you are looking for and how many resumes you have sent out?

Student - (Blank Stare) I have no idea.

Me - You have no idea?

Student - Haven't you been sending out my resume for me?

Me - (Blank Stare) Why would I be sending out your resume?

Student - I thought that's what you did here.

Me - (Another Blank Stare) No, sorry and besides, how would I know what positions and organizations to apply to for you? You and I have never met before.

Student - Oh that's true. So maybe that's why I haven't been called for an interviews?

Me - Umm Yeah.

You're Off and Away

It's graduation weekend at the college I work at. It's always such a bittersweet time for me, I love the college students I work with, I love getting to know them, listening to their dreams, calming their fears and frankly just being in relationship with them. But then darn it all, they decide after 4 years or maybe only two that it's time for them to leave. Why do they do that? Why am I in a profession where each year I have to say good-bye to some really awesome people. But this is what's supposed to happen and as hard as it is to say good-bye, I am excited about what lies ahead for these graduates.

I've always been a fan of Dr. Seuss, during graduate school I lived on Forest Park Ave just a few short blocks from Mulberry Street. "And to Think That I saw it on Mulberry Street" was the first book he published. Forest Park itself also has a place in Dr. Seuss history. It is one of the largest municipal parks in the United States and includes a zoo. Dr. Seuss often spent time there studying and drawing elephants. My graduate school roommate and I loved this park and once became very, very lost among its 700 + acres. Perhaps that is a story for another blog.

As they cross the platform and collect their diploma's I wish I could hand them each another gift, "Oh The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss. I realize that this is not exactly an original idea but I've worked with enough students and alumni to know that this particular book is full of wisdom

Graduation is a new beginning with lots of excitement ahead. But it's also about choices we have and decisions we have to make. Choices! This is so liberating for some and absolutely terrifying for others. But as Dr. Seuss reminds us, even when we make bad choices we are a resilient bunch, it's okay to make a wrong choice, we'll bounce back and we can learn so much about ourselves from mistakes that we've made. He also teaches us about patience. This is tough one and I'm afraid for this year's crop of graduates they may need to be very patient, it's a tough job market. My advice to these students is don't let that scare you, work at what you love, even if you don't get paid for it. Volunteer with an organization that you believe in, serve others, network, stretch yourself, make a difference! The first step is usually the hardest but remember "Kid, You'll Move Mountains!"

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.


You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And then things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on y our way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be as famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't
Because, sometimes they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike,
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never foget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off the Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

Oddities along the way

For the last two years my friend and I have been working on a photo book we have titled Oddities Along the Way. Yesterday while driving on some back roads near Altamont, NY I found myself behind a pick up truck with two goats in the bed of the truck. Now this is something I have never seen before, truly an oddity. My original reaction, was to quickly try to take a picture, I had not one but two cameras with me for goodness sake, unfortunately the speed limit was 55mph and these were after all country back roads that I was not familiar with and quite frankly I do value my safety more than this book I'm working on. My friend does not think I'm committed enough to our project. She may be right, it seems that I have allowed more oddities to pass me buy than I have been willing to sacrifice myself for. At the moment our book is more about missed opportunities. I have however caught the crazy Christmas man, who it seems is also the crazy Easter man.